So. This is it.
I had my last glass of wine last Sunday. It wasn’t just “a glass” though, it never was, it was the better parts of two bottles of Veuve clicquot. (See? Real alcoholics drink weird wine made from blackcurrants or vodka straight out of the bottle, I drink fancy stuff. I talk about terroires! I sip (gulp) from crystal glasses!)
But I know I’m an alcoholic, I do. There’s no point in denying it, I’ve known that there’s something off with my drinking for almost ten years. Started googling “Am I an alcoholic?” maybe five years ago and this last year the google search changed into “stop drinking on your own”, “help me”, “need to be sober”. Sadder and sadder. Less hope, more despair.
So why this blog then? Well, first of all I live in a very small country in the Northern parts of the world (winter is always coming here) and there’s just not that many women in their forties who are high functioning alcoholics and desperate and internetsavvy. And I realized I need to find my people, I can not do this on my own. I’ve tried and failed a thousand times. This time I’m reaching out, I’m trying to connect. Maybe even ask for help (did a cringy face as I just typed that last one).
That’s why I’m starting this blog, to find my people – to stop feeling so absolutely and totally alone in this world. I’m hoping it will help me sort out all the feelings and thoughts and make me remember why I quit when the wine witch starts whispering.
English is obviously not my first language, not even my second but I hope you’ll be lenient with me and my grammatical errors. Now. Let’s do this.
I have so much to tell you my friend.