I’ve always despised that concept, mainly because of the fact that all the people I personally know that says this just ain’t good enough. I know I’m a grumpy person, I’m known for my sarcastic comments (always intending to be funny but really, after a few glasses of wine I was just being rude), I have a big mouth and I’m sometimes perceived as being too cool for school/distanced/hard. Now I’m going to try to be nicer and that includes compassion for others and myself.
So today when I freaked out by the absolutely preposterous meal I had and I felt guilty about eating too much and deciding I needed to go for a brisk two-hour walk with the dog even though I am so, SO tired, that old ‘good enough’ popped into my head. Right now, staying sober IS good enough. I don’t have to feel bad for all the chores I do not do, or the exercise that (in all honesty never has been done) I should … exercise, or one of the million other things I have a guilty conscience about not doing. I’m still sober and that’s good enough.
It was maybe a month ago I had the smallest of epiphanies. I need to stop drinking if I’m going to stop drinking. I know it sounds stupid and maybe it’s the least profound thing you’ve read today but it really hit home. I am a rather lazy person and I think that in the back of my mind I have waited for a sign, or a voice, or just something that would make the whole stop drinking-thing be so much easier. One day I would wake up and quitting would be so easy. Easy breezy. But it’s not. It takes energy, work and determination and above all, you do not have the energy or the stamina or the determination when you’re downing 6-8 bottles of wine a week. First you stop, then you get the energy to maintain the not drinking-thing. So that’s what I’ve done and for now it seems to work. I’m starting to even feel a little proud of myself for doing this.
Have a wonderful day and please feel some self-compassion. Look at a picture of yourself as a small child and treat yourself today as you would treat that little girl.
In celebration of yesterdays number of days I’ve been sober I give you one of my favourite songs of all time.