It feels like that. But I’m sober, that’s something, right? I have 8 days now. If this had been my first attempt I would have been very proud of myself, now I just feel jaded, greedy and eager to get to not only double digits but triple.
My family is not doing very well when it comes to adjusting after 10 weeks of holiday. I’m having real trouble when it comes to being able to concentrate and do my job which causes stress/me being in a bad mood. The kids are so, so tired all the time and that makes them fight ALL the time and scream and tease and act out and being just completely unbearable to be around. They also refuse to go to bed early without screaming and fighting and when we make them anyway they are so agitated that they’re unable to fall asleep and then they’re tired in the morning and REPEAT AD INFINITUM. It’s very unpleasant to be around them and my mood obviously doesn’t help and I’m annoyed with the husband for not doing 50% of the chores, more like 20 at best and that causes us to be annoyed with each other and there you go. Everyone is pissy and I just want to run away from home. Mature, right? I’ve started to do lists of things that need to change. I’ve done this before. The problem is not identifying the problem and coming up with a solution, it’s the following through that’s always been the main problem with this family I have created.
Gah. I’m just so ANNOYED with everyone at the moment. I just want to be left alone.
I’ll write my list today. I’ll email it to my husband and this time we need to follow through. How hard can it be? Jaysus. I just want to take myself out of this mess and we all know how I used to do that: Escaping problems for lazy people 1.0. Since getting shitfaced is no longer an option I need to do some work to change things around here. Ah. So much work.