20160826

Dear husband brought home four bottles of rosé yesterday because of … god knows. The weather? Us being so grumpy? The last breath of summer?  Now they are all gone.

I’m just so, SO tired of doing this all the time, feels like I’m a hamster stuck in one of those sad little wheels.

Facebook posted a picture today that I had taken exactly four years ago, 20120826. That was the first time I tried to get sober after that horrible drunken mess I made at the big neighborhood event that takes place this time of year. I look absolutely horrible, not unlike what I look like today.

I’m just so angry. Why, why, WHY can’t I just stop doing this shit? So angry. Furious. This fucking shit ends now, I can not keep doing this, year after year. Four goddamn years. I will not waste another day, let alone month or year on this crap. This ends now. NOW.

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3 thoughts on “20160826

    • I have told him, time and time again but then I change my mind and basically lie and tell him ‘it’s alright now, no worries, drinkingproblem? Noooo.’ Yesterday I told him that he must disregard all these comments, my true self doesn’t want any white or pink wine around here, he can have his reds if he wants to. Thank you for thinking of me yesterday.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Oh no! I remember on a previous attempt my husband bringing home a bottle of my favourite red because he claimed he fancied a glass. He’s a beer drinker! He never chooses wine usually. It then sat there open for three days while he tantalisingly had a small glass in addition to plentiful beer until I tipped the remainder down the sink and gave him a massive row.

    I don’t know if it’s unthinking or calculated but I think it can be difficult for the partner of someone who suddenly becomes sober. It’s like they’ve lost their drinking partner and they’re not sure who is left in their place.

    That’s what the kind side of me thinks, the other side thinks they’re utter fuckwits. It’s one or the other!

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