Bad mood rising

delirium001

So angry. So annoyed. So not taking responsibility for my own part in anything. They say you stop developing emotionally when you start to drink alcohol in an “unhealthy way” (whatever that means, I mean really, it’s not healthy for you to drink) but sometimes I wonder if I didn’t stop developing at  around the age of four. My inner voice has a lot of tantrums these days. And she gets pissy when she can’t get what she wants. And NONE OF THIS IS HER FAULT ANYWAYYYYY because… Who knows? she hit me first, it was like that when I got here, no I haven’t eaten any of that Nutella I have just grown a mustache, how else do you think a person could cope with all of THIS, I will NOT wear a cap even though it’s freezing, everyone is being mean to me, I didn’t do anything, I want wine why can’t I have wine I need it please just a little come on I promise I won’t just a glass or two come oooooooon

Spoiled little brat that one. I’m going to go for a brisk walk and hopefully I’ll feel better.

Why am I so angry? I’m having fantasies of punching the wall or even better – maybe one of those Porsche-driving arseholes that always speed up just after their child has gotten into the car will come a little bit too close today and then I can bang down on the hood of the car and yell at them for endangering all the little children. Oh please, please let that happen. I need some release.

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