is way worse than I thought. Have spent the day eating like a fucking mad person. Stuffing myself with whatever I could find. Desperately trying to fill that hole in my soul or whatever it is I am trying to do. And yes. Sausages yesterday and holes today, it’s like a regular Freudian fiesta over here at the moment.
I feel nauseated and disgusted by myself and to be honest a whole lot more worried about my mental health than I have ever been before. As ridiculous as it may sound to you, I have actually thought I had my shit together, at least somewhat, and that the drinking was my main issue and now I’m taking care of that and then everything will be dandy. YEAH RIGHT. This isn’t really working out like I imagined it would.
POST SCRIPTUM Just reread this post. Oh the DRAMA! The black/white dichotomous thinking that is me. So I’ve had one bad day and now I’m about to get myself committed to the asylum? Jesus. I’m really such a prima donna sometimes.
And your mom would drink until’ she was no longer speaking And dad would dream of all the different ways to die
Each one a little more than he could dare to try