Rotten peaches

peach

So we have this dinner coming up with the in-laws. It’s their 30th wedding anniversary and they’ll take us out to a fancy place to have A Very Fancy Dinner. And Fancy Dinners require Fancy Wine. I’m not worried about drinking, I don’ want to anymore, what I am worried about is my MIL nagging me to have at least one drink. She does it EVERY SINGLE TIME. It’s getting quite annoying actually and I’m already in a bad mood (because why wait when you have the opportunity to be in a pissy mood about something weeks before it even happens? So much bang for the buck if you do it like that!).

I’ve tried and tried to explain it to her in a way that makes it perfectly clear that I am happy about my decision, it is a decision I have taken on my own – for my own good, I feel so much better when I don’t drink and it really, really used to mess up my sleep. I.e I think I have been very clear without having to use the I’M AN ALCOHOLIC-explanation. Which I’m not very comfortable discussing with her because she’s a bigot and would probably fall of the chair and have a heart attack (hmm, maybe I SHOULD tell her?) and die of bourgeoise shame. The thing is she’s quite a heavy drinker beneath all that upper middleclass snootyness and fine wines and social gatherings and this really bugs her. I mean really. It’s personal.

She’s allergic to stone fruits. I’m thinking of telling her once and for all, in simple words, that it’s really not any of her business if I drink or not. This will be my analogy:

She gets quite ill if she eats stone fruits. She gets nauseous, feels horrible, throws up etc. I would never nag her to have a peach. I wouldn’t question her decisions to not eat prunes.  I’d never tell her to have just a small piece of that juicy plum, just for my sake. Just one piece so that the rest of the plum-eaters won’t feel bad. I would happily eat my peach, enjoy it and  don’t care AT ALL that she’s happily munching away on an orange instead. I would trust her to be capable of making that decision and I actually wouldn’t give a shit if she had a cherry on top or not. Because really, how important are the fruits we pick? Is that really what we need to celebrate their marriage? Peaches? Nah, I don’t think so. Marriage isn’t about mango is it? Tango might be the solution to a happy, muy caliente marriage but mango won’t really make that much of a difference.

I’ll work out the analogy as we approach Fancy Dinner Time (i.e maybe edit out the “I wouldn’t ask you to nibble my grapes”-line because vaguely erotic/weird/off) but I really need to make her stop bugging me.

Cheerio, darlings.

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11 thoughts on “Rotten peaches

  1. Sometimes e need to put up boundaries and not provide a rational.
    Perhaps just telling her you are done with drinking. Period. But for her to go ahead. No further discussion.

    Heavy drinkers will always feel intimidated when someone else doesn’t drink. It’s like holding up a mirror. It’s her fear making her behave like that.

    You don’t need to solve her problems.

    Liked by 3 people

    • I know and in some respects I used to do this myself. Ask too many questions, do the ‘but whyyyyyy’ with a whiny voice and secretly feel sorry for them for missing out. Yeah, I really did think that. But this is constant, and my father in law as well. It’s like the have partial amnesia and just can’t fathom it being for more than a week. But yes, boundaries. I need to work on them all over actually. Your last sentence really speaks the truth and I know it in my mind but not in my gut if you know what I mean.

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      • I was bad at pressuring others too. I hated when others didn’t want to drink. I have had friends say they avoided us because booze was always flowing at our house.

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    • Ha, it was yesterday! There was champagne and the fancy wine and the whiskey. She was at the other end of the table so I didn’t have to have The Conversation which was nice. I had told my father in law before that I didn’t want any wine for dinner and he’s such a nice man so he just ordered for everyone and it wasn’t a big deal. So that was nice. Less nice was standing around holding that damn glass of champagne that they shoved in my hand as we entered. I was way more tempted than I would have wanted to. That damn sparkly stuff really is my kryptonite. But I made if. Of course. But I didn’t like the feeling it gave me. By the way, I seem to remember that you’re really in to music? I just heard this new band that I really love: Adult Mom. That name may be the best band name I have ever heard. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • I had to a hold a glass of champers at a party all the way through the toasts(the host wouldnt take no for an answer) It gave me the shivers, I held the glass so lightly and just wished it would dissapear.
        Glad you got through it. I love music! Will check the band out on spotify now. Love the name:)

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